Mad Connor: A Furious Toad
IT services in Dallas began expanding exponentially, and for a while many believed Connor Zimdar was to blame, but it was really the fault of Kevin Welch.
Connor Zimdar was built like a kumquat with a head. He was terrible with women, and perhaps the more terrible he was with them, the more he desired them. Connor was also exceptionally adept with computers, and this may be one of the reasons he found relations with the ladies so confounding.
Connor and his roommate, Kevin Welch, enjoyed a quid pro quo relationship. Kevin understood women, though he couldn’t wrap his head around computers. Everything was going swimmingly until Kevin showed up at the dorm one day with Tammy, a young woman after whom Connor had lusted for months.
CIA goon Mike Michaels made his move at this juncture, leaving a note and a pill for Connor. The pill was designed to make Connor’s mind faster than ever, propelling him so far beyond Kevin that he could eventually afford all the ladies he liked. IT services in Dallas would never be the same, and the CIA could determine whether this new pharmaceutical application could be useful in the battlefield. But Kevin Welch returned to the dorm early that day, found the pill and the note, and popped the pill without thinking as was his habit when it came to drugs.
Within minutes— and not quite knowing precisely how— Kevin had cleaned the whole apartment, completed all his homework (including essays from the required core English class he was taking) and begun Connor’s software programming assignments for fun. He didn’t know why, all he knew was that his brain was running faster than it ever had before, and he wanted to use it. So use it he did. He improved on Connor’s work, then went into the textbook, skimmed it like a machine, and on a piece of paper wrote out a number of algorithms that would set the tech world on fire. For fun, he fully calculated pi and left that on a piece of poster-board under Connor’s pillow. Kevin worked so fast that, within only an hour’s time, he completed all these things. With nothing left to do in the dorm, he went his way, clicking his heels and whistling.
Almost like clockwork, Connor Zimdar returned to find his homework completed, and better than he had ever expected. The tech algorithms Kevin calculated made Connor’s hair stand on end, and when he found pi under his pillow, he fainted. Waking up a few minutes later, he, too, took the night off, heading for the bars in search of Kevin.
Mike Michaels noticed both roommates were gone and crept into the dorm to see how things were progressing. Going over Zimdar’s work, he concluded the drug had been a wild success and dropped a baggy full of the stuff on the coffee table with another note; managing to scramble out the window seconds before Kevin stumbled in talking a thousand miles an hour with a girl on each arm.
IT services in Dallas would never be the same, and we at CTG Tech would soon have a new recruit— for Connor had been scouting local tech companies, and wouldn’t miss an opportunity to submit Kevin’s work in his name.